New Year's Eve...

Dear son,

We just sort of hung out today. I got up late, then we did some chores, then we went shopping and made dinner. It came out pretty good, but it took a while. Roasting a chicken is an art, let me tell you. This is about how exciting our New Year's Eves tend to be, I must admit, but, quite honestly, I really prefer it. Maybe I'm getting old, but I don't like crowds and noise and running around late at night. That's just me. Your mom and I are looking forward to seeing what you bring to the party.

Love,
Dad

Days of freaks and hot dogs...

Dear son,

We went to Ikea today in another halfhearted attempt to find furniture to make room for your arrival. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. We simply can't decide on what bookcases to get, for goodness' sake! But anyway, we went to Ikea in Elizabeth, New Jersey. This store is truly gigantic. It's like the Pentagon for pre-fabricated, do-it-yourself, slightly cheesy furniture. However, some of their styles and products are acceptable, and their prices are usually pretty good. Unfortunately, your mom and I really didn't have much of chance to browse in peace. It was very crowded, and the store is laid out in what seems to me a chaotic fashion. Also, there was a morbidly obese woman on a scooter there who was constantly in our way. At one point, she passed close enough to us that we could smell her body odor. We were done for the day at that point, but it took us another twenty minutes to find the exit. We picked up a catalog and were preparing to leave when this incredible hunger came over me, so we had a couple hot dogs apiece. They were remarkably cheap and very tasty. I was very lucky to find them. And don't worry; your room will be ready by the time you get here.

Love,
Dad

Some crib...

Dear son,

Your mother and I went to the mall today. I don't really like malls, especially this one. It's filled with avaricious and dumb people. But anyway, your mother and aunt were looking around for stuff, but your mom got really tired all of a sudden so we bolted. Lucky for you we did, otherwise we might've gotten you this big, ugly, dorky-looking crib from some precious and expensive ripoff joint.

Love,
Dad

Free floating...

Dear son,

What is it like, floating in a warm, dark, quiet environment? You have no aches and pains, no pressure points, no discomfort. I'm only asking because my feet and tailbone are really bothering me tonight and it'd be nice to know no pain. I think it's being tired coupled with all the running around I've done in the cold lately. I think I'm reasonably healthy otherwise. Sometimes it's hard to be thankful for the many gifts we have because we're just so used to them. We only appreciate them when they're gone. Your mother is feeling a lot better today, and I'm definitely thankful for that. I hope it was the flu, which, if it was, means we were really lucky because it was relatively mild and it came at a pretty fortunate time (Christmas break), and we got it out of the way. She says you're kicking up a storm these days, which always makes me happy to hear it.

Love,
Dad

Just another blah day...

Dear son,

I don't have much to say, or much energy with which to say it. Your mom's been pretty sick the past couple days, and I've been running around taking care of her. Luckily, she finally seems on the mend. I'm beat.

Love,
Dad

Merry Christmas...!

Dear son,

Today is the first Christmas with you in our lives. Your mom was feeling much better today, which was a great load off my mind, and we went out to her parents' house. There was a lot of people there: your grandparents from your mother's side, your aunts and uncles, your cousins--and they were all so eager to meet you. As I think I predicted the other day, you ended up with the most presents. It was really pretty sweet of everybody. All in all it was a very nice time, but I'm very happy we came home tonight. There's nothing like your own bed, you will find. Merry Christmas, Nicky.

Love,
Dad

Minor worries on Christmas Eve...

Dear son,

We were a little nervous today because your mom had quite a cough and a little fever, and, of course, as first-time parents we were very nervous about it. But thanks to your mom's great health and vitality in general, a couple of Tylenol and some cough syrup and she was feeling better. I called one of her OB/GYNs to just make sure there wasn't anything to worry about, and she was very reassuring, so that was cool. It was kind of like getting a present, that good feeling washing over you. Speaking of presents, tomorrow is Christmas, and you're not even born yet but people are already giving you presents.

Love,
Dad

Christmastime is here...

Dear son,

During the Christmas season, it's all too easy to get stressed out and wrapped up in selfishness. It's a true shame that this holiday has been so commercialized, but it has been for a while now. Couple that with human nature and of course everyone'll think and worry about what they're getting from others, rather than concerning themselves with giving to others. It's not an easy concept to grasp, but there comes a time when a person gets happy when they can give or do something for another person. It's a very Christian concept, which really means it's just a concept based on loving other people, but it's true.

Love,
Dad

Your old man is tired...

Dear son,

Sorry I can't say much tonight. I'm feeling stuffy and running, but also really sleepy. So I'll say see you later.

Love,
Dad

My ol' noggin...

Dear son,

I must be brief tonight because I don't feel so good. I hope I don't have the flu. More importantly, I hope your mom doesn't come down with the flu. Tomorrow, we go to the OB/GYNs' office again. I hope they're around this time. Your mother was in a good mood tonight, which is a godsend. See you tomorrow.

Love,
Dad

Blankety-blank doctors...

Dear son,

We didn't get a chance to see you today, even though your mother and I went to the doctors' office right on schedule. It seems the guy we were going to see had a delivery to make, as in a baby being born, so he was out of the office. Now we have to go back on Wednesday. The good news is we confirmed that your mother's glucose levels were well within normal parameters. This means little risk of her developing gestational diabetes, and that's good. The bad news is when fate steps in to frustrate your mother with things beyond her control, she's can be a bear to live with. That, combined with the stress everybody feels during the holidays, plus this being her first pregnancy equals hoooo boy!

Love,
Dad

Say cheese...

Dear son,

We're heading to the doctors once again tomorrow. Get ready for some more ultrasound pictures. Your mom had a major backache yesterday and the day before, but today she felt fine. I've been feeling pretty under the weather the past couple of days, too, and I've been sleeping a lot, which has made me feel better. Sleep is the best medicine. It lets your mind and body heal themselves. It's a great restorative. Keep that in mind when we want you to go to sleep later on. Now get some rest for your closeups tomorrow.

Love,
Dad

Feelin' poorly...

Dear son,

Forgive me for not having anything of note to say tonight. I've got a sore throat and I'm just really tired.

Love,
Dad

Risky business...

Dear son,

So while I was blissfully ignorant, your mother was getting lost in a blizzard in Canada the other night, after spending a buttload of time at some dumpy, smoke-filled Canadian casinos. At least she won some money. She came home exhausted, but I fed her well and sent her to bed early. She works awfully hard, your mom. She occasionally complains about her job, but I don't think a person works that hard unless they really love their job.

Love,
Dad

How are you...?

Dear son,

You're racking up the frequent flyer miles and you're not even born yet. Your mom (and you) is (are) at another sales conference for the night. Bring her and yourself home safe. I'm not feeling so good right now, so I'll say goodnight.

Love,
Dad

Back to the docs on Monday...

Dear son,

Sorry, but we'll have to hit you with the ultrasound again on Monday when we go back to the doctors for another checkup. It's reassuring to be see that everything is going well, but the more you know about stuff sometimes the more worried you can become. I wonder what they did in ye olden days. No wonder midwives were so popular. A person with experience in dealing with pregnancies must have seemed like a wizard to people who didn't know the first thing about developing babies. Your mom says you kick all the time, and that makes me happy whenever I hear it. Or feel it, too.

Love,
Dad

Chilly, but warm heart...

Dear son,

Right now you're someplace warm, dark, and quiet. You're lucky, because here in Hoboken, winter is coming again like it always does. The days keep getting shorter and the weather colder. I can't stand it. Why I've stayed in the northeast I'll never quite understand. You'll be born in the spring, which I think will be good, because you'll hopefully manifest some spring-like attributes in your personality, like hope and energy, which one usually associates with spring. Your mother was born in June, and has a generally sunny disposition. I was born in November, the fall, the time of oncoming gloom. But I'm not so bad once you get to know me.

Love,
Dad

Toys and sports...

Dear son,

Your mom's all worried because she doesn't know what kind of sports-type things and electronics-type games and such she should get you. I told her she was being silly and that was something we wouldn't have to worry about for at least a couple more years. It's not like we're going to be buying you a PlayStation 3 while you're still an infant or anything, or a football helmet, not till you're older. I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with stuffed animals of the teddy bear variety for a while. Maybe some balls and mobiles, too. Maybe some of those play hammer toys, but maybe not. Definitely not anything swallowable for a long time. They say babies put everything in their mouths. It's amazing the human race survived the infancy period, let alone became the so-called dominant species on the planet.

Love,
Dad

Stillness is okay, too...

Dear son,

You don't always have to be talking. People appreciate a good listener, who's sincerely interested. Never hesitate to speak up on something if you feel it's a good idea to do so. But never feel like you always have to be talking. Being quiet inside and out is quite peaceful. People have written entire books on the power of silence.

Love,
Dad

Do the right thing...

Dear son,

A difficult lesson to learn is to accept responsibility for your decisions. It's one of the hardest I've ever learned. It doesn't come easy, at least not to me, nor, I think, does it really come easy to anybody. You need to make your decisions intelligently, not rashly. Take your time and think beforehand. Then act decisively. Act honorably. And be prepared to live with your decision.

Love,
Dad

The great balancing act...

Dear son,

Tonight your mother expressed her concern about balancing work and family, in other words, taking care of you and me (mostly you) while still doing a good job. It's a reasonable concern to have. All parents have it. I think if you're smart enough and willful enough, you can handle it. I think I'm pretty smart. And brother, is your mom ever willful!

Love,
Dad

Them choppers of yours...

Dear son,

I wonder whose teeth you're going to get, mine or your mother's. My own teeth are a combination of both my parents' teeth, and also, I'm told, display characteristics similar to my grandfather's on my father's side. My teeth are somewhat small and crowded, but they're strong and cavity free. I never had braces; who knows what my teeth and jaw would look like today if I had gotten braces as a kid? Your mom's teeth are big and straight, but they've a number of cavities and root canals. She did have braces, by the way. Maybe you'll be lucky and get the best of both of our teeth. And don't worry: if you need braces, which you may not, you'll get 'em. Trust me, good dental and mandibular alignment is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children.

Love,
Dad

You little spaz...

Dear son,

Your mom was joking earlier about how all your movements inside her are jerky, not graceful like a ballet dancer. I said I should hope they were; who wants a ballet dancer for a son? I'm just kidding. I only made that up just now. Actually I told her not to worry; at this stage, I believe, you're a collection of involuntary, unconscious reactions, so not to worry. Grace is a state of mind, like a Jedi or something.

Love,
Dad

My little guy...

Dear son,

Many times I've felt your little kicks and jumps inside your mother's body. Tonight your mom and I were lying on the couch with her on top of me, when you gave us quite the little kick. It might be the strongest I've felt yet. It was like being batted by a cat, which is a compliment to you, since you still don't weigh very much, and most cats are probably four to seven times your weight. Maybe you're like a superbaby!

Love,
Dad

Welcome home...!

Dear son,

I'm so happy you and your mom are back from Florida. Her conference sounded like it went well, and they had nice weather down there. She ate lots of tasty food, which means you ate lots of tasty food, and managed to get in some exercise every morning. She tells me you're like a Mexican jumping bean. That comforts me a lot, but it also makes me grateful to be a male. I can't imagine having a little separate entity growing inside me. Weird--but in a totally natural and beautiful way, I hasten to add. I also made use of those eggs my father gave us from New Hampshire. I devilled 'em and made egg salad. I enjoy eggs a great deal.

Love,
Dad

Just hello...

Dear son,

Just wanted to say hello. Miss you and your mom.

Love,
Dad

Missing you...

Dear son,

You and your mom are in Florida. She called earlier today and described what it's like down there. It sounds very nice. I'm not lonely, but I miss your mom. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself when I'm all alone and I don't have to do anything. Tomorrow I may devil some eggs. See, my father, a generous and well meaning soul, gave us three dozen eggs when we were visiting your grandparents in New Hampshire. It's nice of him, I suppose, but what kind of thinking goes into making a present to someone of three dozen eggs? I'll try not to perplex you as much as my father perplexes me.

Love,
Dad

So how's Florida...?

Dear son,

You're in your mom and she's in Florida so that means you're in Florida now, too. How do you like it? It's dreary and freezing in Hoboken, but your mom's going to get some sun and maybe a swim. What a lucky little kid you already are!

Love,
Dad

Seems okay...

Dear son,

Well, we didn't hear anything from the doctor's office regarding your mother's blood work, so I guess the results are okay and she does not have gestational diabetes. So that's one less thing to worry about. (I might just call myself just to be sure, however.)

Tomorrow, you and your mom are going to Florida. Her company is having its sales conference down there, and you guys are flying out of Newark airport at noon. Have fun, stay out of the sun, and take it easy with those margaritas.

Love,
Dad