A tongue tugging...?

Dear Nicky,

I was talking to Shelby your speech pathologist this morning. I told her Mom and I are concerned about your tongue protrusion. She basically told us that at this stage and with the therapy you're getting, it shouldn't be a problem. We hope she's right. See, I'm concerned that with all the oral stimulation you're getting, we're building up the muscles in your tongue to the point where it's becoming a supertongue, more likely to stick out than remain inside simply because it's been worked out and thoroughly developed. Wouldn't that be a bitter irony to add to our list of bitter ironies? I shared this theory with her: if, when you push against a muscle and it pushes back and gets stronger (this is resistance training, like weight lifting), doesn't it make sense that if you pull against a muscle it pulls back, too? In other words, tongue tugging. Shelby said we could try it. I tried it on myself this evening. I used one of your feeding cloths because it provides for a good grip, and I gave my tongue a nice tug. Sure enough, I had a definite desire to pull my tongue back rather than push it forward. We'll do it gently with you. Other news: you got over half an hour in your Bumbo seat today, watching Baby Einstein with your head up the whole time. Great head control, pal! We've worked you out a lot this week, because tomorrow we go to New Hampshire to visit your Yaya and Papou, my parents and your grandparents. They can't wait to see you in person. I think they'll go crazy for you.

Love,
Dad

Hi, kicker...

Dear Nicky,

You're asleep in your crib right next to me as I write this. You're an extra cute baby when you sleep, and you're quite strong and active, too. A second ago you were lifting and dropping your legs, kicking like a little mad donkey, it sounded like. It was really muggy out today, so we stayed in. I think you were still tired from yesterday's workout. Also, your PT came by and gave you an extra long workout since he wasn't here last week. You were semi-cooperative, and kind of hungry I think, so I gave you some food during your workout, which is something I never like to do, but you did fine. You got some good nap time in today, also, which is good too, because that's when you grow. Your PT mentioned how strong and handsome you looked. I bet tomorrow, your speech therapist says the same thing. You might really be a magical kid.

Love,
Dad

Tired, eh...?

Dear Nicky,

You must be tired. You got around two hours of workout time today I'd say. Not all at once, of course. That'd be inhuman. But you got about forty-five minutes of exercise this morning, and forty-five this afternoon, plus a bunch of freestyle time on my belly throughout the day, and on top of that you got a bunch of oral stimulation, too. Gosh, kid, I hope we're not overdoing it, but you do so well on all this stuff. You must be tired, though, and I'll bet you sleep deeply and long tonight. Try not to squirm up against the bars of your crib like you have the past couple nights. We've also upped your cereal to three tablespoons a day. I was concerned you might not eat it all, but you proved me wrong. Dr. Solo called us back and made us feel a little more at ease. No medicine for you, young man; and we'll see how it goes with the heart surgery schedule. Solo's got to talk to Q. It's like Top Gun over there, I'm telling you.

Love,
Dad

Your day, my day...

Dear Nicky,

I hope your day was nice. Mom took you out to Granny's, then Aunt Erin's, then back to Granny's. She said everybody loved you, and you got plenty of rollover exercise. It sounds like a nice time to me. I went into the city by myself for the first time in months. I just wandered around, exploring. I went into a part of Brooklyn I'd always heard about, Sunset Park, but man, there wasn't anything very sunsetty or parklike about it. There is a Costco there, which I found mildly interesting, but ultimately it means nothing to us. What are we going to do, drive to Brooklyn from Hoboken to go to Costco? I also went to the Virgin Megastore in Union Square. That's one cool store, although everything they have is overpriced. I like how they have the sound system designed, so you can be in one part of the store and hear one type of music, then move to another part where a totally different kind of music is playing. It's like being in the jungle and moving from one pool of water to another, and each one is unique. Then I came home and gorged on some McDonald's. Tasty, but you can't eat that stuff very often, no way.

Love,
Dad

All our times are good ones...

Dear Nicky,

Nothing extraordinary happened today, except that I got to be with you. I'm lucky that way. This morning you had a meltdown around noon or so. You took a nap and woke up starving and I didn't have your food ready yet and you screamed bloody blue murder. You cried so hard, little red marks dotted your face afterward. Doc Moc tells us these are blood platelets being squeezed up into the visible parts of your skin, and they're nothing to worry about. I've probably mentioned these before, but I still don't like them. You did well on all your exercises today, and your mouth and tongue are probably tired from all that palate stuff we do. I really hope we're helping you, Nick, and not just annoying you. We want so much for you to have as few challenges as possible in this life, and I hope we're strong enough to do that for you.

Love,
Dad

The healing power of you...

Dear Nicky,

I've been meaning to write about the various and sundry positive mental and psychological benefits you've brought me this summer. This thought came to me a couple days ago, but I forgot it, so I guess memory improvement is not yet one of the benefits. Where to begin? Well, let's begin at the bottom--of my feet, that is. My heel spurs haven't felt this good in months, maybe even years. When I take you out for nice long walks, I try to walk slowly and get some good flexion in my feet, and I think that's starting to pay off. Without you, I wouldn't be taking these walks. I've read a number of high-quality, well respected books this summer. I've read these because when we're sitting on a park bench somewhere, I'll read them to you out loud in the hopes that it might help you in some way. Reading is also coming more easily again; there was a period when I could barely read a thing, as my mind, my concentration went on vacation. But now I can focus and retain much more easily. See how beneficial you are in so many ways?

Love,
Dad

Granny go home...

Dear Nicky,

Granny came over today. As soon as she got here she was talking about how she had to leave. I found it annoying, because I did not ask her to come over, but I didn't tell her that. It does me little good when an uninvited babysitter comes over and can't even stay a while. I mean, why bother coming at all? Anyway, you did some good reaching during tummy time, which makes me happy. Also, you reached during sitting practice. You're eating well, but you get a little sweaty during feedings. It's probably from us manhandling you, but it makes us nervous nonetheless, what with your heart and all. It was a nice day today and we went for a morning walk and an afternoon walk. Some lady approached us as we were sitting on a bench to say how cute you are. Dude, you're like a chick magnet, not that that does me any good.

Love,
Dad

On the run...

Dear Nicky,

Every other Wednesday is when the cleaning people come and we have to go on the run so that they can do their thing. It's okay now that it's summer, but we need to figure something out when the weather gets cold. Their timing was perfect this time, though. They came after your lunch, and after I changed you. Usually they come right during a feeding or an especially gigantic diaper change. We went downstairs and took a nice walk and then sat and read some. My nose has felt like its had razor blades stuck up in it all day. I hope yours doesn't feel the same. I hope it's just allergies and not a cold, and I hope you don't get it. But then again maybe I caught it from you; you've been sneezing and snorting, too. Oh, man, I worry so much about you. I hope I'm taking good enough care of you.

Love,
Dad

Nice workout...

Dear Nicky,

Your physical therapist couldn't make it today, so I worked you out extra hard. I hope you didn't mind, but you were great. There's this thing we got yesterday, called a Bumbo seat, that's supposed to improve your trunk strength. It's like a chair, made out of polyurethane that sort of wraps around you and holds you upright and makes you feel secure. I sat you in it for quite a while and you held your head up and steady while you looked at another baby in the mirror. You're not yet used to it, of course, but you are a trouper. It makes me so proud to see the effort you put into doing things, good naturedly and without complaint. And when you've had enough, you let me know and I take you out, or switch positions, or try something else. The point is we help each other out, and even if your speech is delayed, which I doubt it will be, you and I will evolve our own method for communication, so not to worry.

Love,
Dad

Bundle of energy...

Dear Nicky,

I hardly slept last night. I think it was something I ate. I kept waking up to go to the bathroom, and since I was up, I would check on you. Don't worry, I always washed my hands first. You really don't need checking up on; it's just something we do as parents because we can't help it. Anyway, I slept terribly. I was a little worried that my tail would drag all day long today and that I wouldn't be of much use to you. In actuality, what happened was that you're such a sunny kid that you fill me full of energy. It was quite nice out today, despite the heat, and we went out for two walks. This morning I read to you from the New York Times, and this afternoon I read to you from Abraham by Bruce Feiler. Inside you did well on tummy time and took a nice long nap on my chest in the afternoon. This foam seat, called a Bumbo seat, arrived this afternoon also. You took to it pretty good right away. We're hoping it'll help you sit up and steady your head even more. It really does look quite comfortable.

Love,
Dad

My Sunday...

Dear Nicky,

So this morning Mom took you to Granny's to hang out and go to the mall. I was left to my own devices. I just hung out, too, and straightened up and cleaned around the house. Then I went outside and finished my latest book. It was very enjoyable in that the characters seemed real and their stories were surprisingly touching. It was called Eventide. While it is nice to get a little time to myself once in a while, summer Sundays can get a bit lonely sometimes. There's not that much to do around here, and urban summers are kind of the worst. There's always been a certain degree of romanticism, in my mind, associated with densely populated urban areas baking in the summer heat, but this romanticism doesn't make up for the fact that it's hot and crowded everywhere. Mom said the two of you got stuck in some traffic. I had your last bottle of the day made and ready for you when you two got home. Mom also brought home some barbecue chicken and pasta salad, which I enjoyed eating.

Love,
Dad

Hot and cold...

Dear Nicky,

Mom and I, mostly me, agonize over the temperature in your room. Is it too hot or is it too cold? The stupid heating/cooling units they have in this apartment seem to kick in whenever they feel like it. One's running right now, for instance, shooting an invisible waterfall of cold air right down my neck. I can't stand it as a matter of fact. I'm going to go turn it down. Be right back... Okay, I'm back. I don't like being hot and stuffy any more than the next man, but I hate having icy-cold air pouring all over my skin, you know what I mean? There's something about that frigid, dessicated air that just rubs me the wrong way. This afternoon the three of us went for a walk outside. We sat on a bench and then Mom went and got a Slushie for herself and a soft-serve cherry dip cone for me. I gave you the tiniest taste of my ice cream. Your little tongue came out and took a lick and you smiled. It was pretty darn cute.

Love,
Dad

Your heart, my heart...

Dear Nicky,

Today we went to see Dr. Solo, who recommend that we repair your heart defect in October or November. While it's pretty scary to think of a baby undergoing any surgery, the idea of our baby undergoing cardiac surgery is pretty scary for Mom and me. I wish he had told us that everything was all healed up and that you don't need any surgery, but that's not very realistic, I guess. What comforts us is that you'll be worked on at one of the best hospitals in the country by the guy that teaches this very same technique at Columbia medical school. They call him Dr. Q. The pediatric cardiology department at NY Presbyterian does seem to have a James Bond-ian or a Top Gun feel to it, with these doctors and their code names for each other. While you're flourishing now, you'll do even better and be more comfortable after we get your little ticker fixed.

Love,
Dad

Granny visits...

Dear Nicky,

Granny came over this afternoon, ostensibly to babysit, but I think it was more of an older person's searching for relevance. She sure is crazy about you, though, and you beamed at her most of the time she was here. I went to Target and BJ's, looking for a new TV, since the one in the living room looks to be kaput. But I couldn't find one I liked, so I came home and went and got a Quizno's steak dip sandwich. It was actually quite tasty, but I recommend skipping having lettuce added. Then we took a walk outside and came back to find that Mom had brought us some mushroom ravioli from a place in the city. That was really tasty, too. Granny and Mom then hung out for a while, till she left. She's nice, but frankly, she wasn't that much of a help. She comes at these weird times, see, that are only convenient for her. She means well, though.

Love,
Dad

Little rolling fiend...

Dear Nicky,

Your speech therapist must be in love with you the way she was raving about you this morning. How much bigger you are, how much taller, how strong you are. She fed you some mush from a spoon and from a little blue cup, and you ate equally well from both. It's still very new to you, of course, but you're clearly going to be very effective at it. You napped a little bit, had some before-noon tummy time, and flipped over a couple times, napped a little more. Then we went out after your three o'clock feeding. You were again admired by total strangers. It was nice out this afternoon, warm and breezy, and you napped some more. We came home and I gave you some palate work and an extra three ounces of formula, because I didn't think you got enough today and could use the extra hydration, too. Then I put you down for some more tummy time and you became a rolling fiend. You must have flipped over eight times or more. Literally, every time I turned around you went from stomach to back. Amazing.

Love,
Dad

A Tuesday...

Dear Nicky,

Not much to report today. We went out for a nice walk this morning. Total strangers said how cute you are. Again. We finished that John Cheever book. I can't decide what to read next. We came back, you grabbed my face, stuck your hand in my mouth, grabbed a fistful of lip. Your tiny fingernails are sharp as knives, but I don't mind. You had another couple tablespoons of rice cereal, which you seem to be eating very well. You napped some. Your PT came over, and you worked well with him, as opposed to last week, when the guy came over and you fell sound asleep. Then you napped some more. Mom brought me this delicious roast chicken from a restaurant in Manhattan that's on her way home. Man, it was really good.

Love,
Dad

Nice napping...

Dear Nicky,

You took some nice naps today, a couple hours in the morning and almost two and a half straight hours this afternoon. They were entirely on me, but I don't mind a bit. You work out hard, and you eat well, and now if we're moving into the time when you should be napping at least a couple hours a day, that's great! And if it's on me, well, I got to tell you--I love it! I don't know if it's because you like the sound of my heartbeat, the rhythm of my breathing, the smell of me or what, but you sleep so soundly on my chest, despite its boniness. I also welcome it because you're sleeping on your stomach on me, which helps prevent the dreaded flathead. In other goings on, you took some rice cereal around noon. You pounded a couple tablespoons like a champ. We don't think you'll have any problems eating, knock wood. So far, so good.

Love,
Dad

Another scorcher...

Dear Nicky,

It was another very hot day. Mom took you out to Bedminster, where you impressed your grandparents and Uncle Jon. I went into the city to try to get a memory card reformatted; it seems like it's really messed up. It's a shame, too, because that was the card in the camera I used to take pictures of you the minute you were born. I think if I can somehow get a low-level format on it, I might be able to recover some pictures of you when you were only seconds old. But I had no luck with the card, unfortunately. I guess I'll keep trying. So anyway I went into the city. It was hotter than blazes. You can't really breathe or think when it's that hot. I thought about doing some other stuff, but it was just too hot, so I came home and read some more John Cheever. Then thunderstorms rolled in, and there was a cloudburst, but Mom and you returned home safely at about seven. While it's nice to have time to myself once in a while, I miss my little family when they're not around.

Love,
Dad

A picture of you...

Dear Nicky,

There's this picture I have of you, taken about five weeks ago or so, that I have on my computer. In the picture you're sitting in your bouncy seat and smiling; I was jumping and acting goofy as I was taking it. You really look amazing in it, and sometimes I just feel like looking at it. It always makes my heart swell with love and pride. I could stare at that photo just about all day. Nope, we didn't go outside today; it was way too hot--over 100, if you can believe it. We just hung around inside the house all day. Mom and I watched a video on sign language a little while ago. We're going to start it with you in order to facilitate your language development while at the same time reducing frustration levels when trying to communicate. This should be interesting.

Love,
Dad

Looking for a home...

Dear Nicky,

I love you so much. I want you to know that always. Mom and I love you so much. It amazes us. Never think for one second that we don't love you, or that your happiness and health isn't our number one concern, even if someday we get mad and yell at you. We went looking at houses again today and saw one we liked. We made an offer, then later we found out the house is already in the process of being sold, so we were told by our agent that we could still make an offer, but it would have to be higher, because the seller is already entertaining an offer higher than the asking price. It's a nice house. If we had gotten it for the price we offered it would have been a steal. If we get it for our second offer it'll still be good. But any more than that and the apple loses its shine, I think. We'll see how it goes, and I'll keep you posted.

Love,
Dad

A break from Stepping Stones...

Dear Nicky,

You're okay, at least that's what they seem to think at the doctor's office we went to this morning. Mom and I have been a little worried lately: you have an infrequent cough and your voice is hoarse and it sounds like it hurts when you cry. The doctor checked you over, though, and said all the major stuff was fine. She was a little in too much of a rush in my opinion, but whatever. Also, today was the last of the Stepping Stones summer session. You get a break till after Labor Day. At that point we go back twice a week and an hour earlier. That's okay, but I just hope the traffic stays good. This morning we arrived almost twenty minutes early despite a late start because I forgot your car seat and we had to come back upstairs for it. It'll be nice to have a break from going out there for a while, but that doesn't mean you're going to get a break, buddy. You're still going to be getting those ol' workouts.

Love,
Dad

Four flips...

Dear Nicky,

Today you rolled over a total of four times, the first three you weren't even wearing your magic pants. Your voice still sounds hoarse, and when you cry it's quite saddening to hear. I spoke to a nurse today, who said we should keep on eye on you, but as long as there's no fever and you're eating well and good spirits, we shouldn't worry. Telling Mom and me not to worry is about as logical as telling the sky not to be blue. Your PT came over today, and unfortunately, you suddenly started feeling tired and whiny. He worked you for a few minutes, then you fell into a deep sleep from which you refused to wake until he had left. Thanks a lot, Nick! Poor guy came all the way here to see you, and you nod off. That's okay, nobody minds. This guy's pretty mellow, and he understands that babies are babies and they're unpredictable. You need sleep because it'll help you grow, and also you're fighting off some kind of bug, so get well soon.

Love,
Dad

Tough day...

Dear Nicky,

You still seemed off your game today. Not so much with your appetite, but your voice sounds really bad. You don't have a fever, which is really good, and that plus a good appetite take away most of the terror. But your poor little voice! It sounds like you have a really sore throat or something. Also, you felt clammy and sweaty off and on all day, and you were pretty tired and took a couple nice-length naps. But you were a little whiny all day, which makes me think you're pretty uncomfortable. I think we might have to pay a visit to the doctor's office tomorrow. You probably just have a little cold or sore throat or something, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Your disposition was quite sunny all day, between painful-sounding crying jags, so maybe I'm just worrying too much. We'll see in the morning.

Love,
Dad

House hunting...

Dear Nicky,

You're such a good boy. We toted you around all afternoon looking at houses to buy in New Providence. It was hot, and we lugged you all around. You missed an afternoon feeding, and you didn't complain. You sat in that carrier so long, your butt must've gone numb. Anyway, we saw a couple nice houses, but they weren't quite right. We saw some other houses also, and they varied from merely small and overpriced to large and awkward to downright weird. We liked the last one we saw the best, but the yard was too steeply terraced for little kids. When we were done, we rushed home to feed you. We fed you twice to make up for the missed meal. Overall, you were only off by two ounces today. Finally, you're fever broke and you were feeling much better from your reaction to the shots.

Love,
Dad

Sick, and hoarse...

Dear Nicky,

Today was a bit of rough day for you. You had a reaction to the shots you got yesterday, and the result was a fever. On top of that, we think you caught a cold or something somewhere, and your voice has been turned into a painful-sounding croak. It makes Mom and me sad to think that you are uncomfortable and there's nothing we can do. Hopefully, you'll feel and sound much better in the morning.

Love,
Dad

Another sterling checkup...

Dear Nicky,

Well, we took you for your four-month shots today, and the doctor looked you over and pronounced you magnificent, great, and fantastic. He praised Mom and me on the job we're doing, taking such good care of you, and he kept saying how pleased he is with your health and development overall. Then his nurse came in and jabbed you with some needles full of medicine. Sure it hurt, for a little while, then you shrugged it right off and went to sleep. We got some baby Tylenol in you right now to keep the pain and possible fever at bay. You've gained weight nicely and now weigh 14 pounds, two ounces. However, you've got a bit of a sore throat it sounds like; the doctor says it's nothing to worry about, but you're a little hoarse, and it pains me to hear your little croaking cries. My theory is that you strained your throat yesterday during your noon nap time, when you were screaming bloody blue murder and refused to go to sleep. It doesn't seem implausible, considering you were yowling like a scalded cat. It's still sad, though, so I hope you hurry up and feel better soon.

Love,
Dad

Mr. Popular...

Dear Nicky,

People really are crazy about you, and you impress them no end. At Stepping Stones, they admired your strength, your oral motor skills, and your focus. Amazing. When we're out on the street, total strangers tell us how cute you are. Tomorrow we go back in the car for another drive, and this time we go to the doc's because you're getting some more shots. Sorry, pal, but we got to. We're also looking forward to seeing how much weight you've gained since the last time.

Love,
Dad

One pooped pappy...

Dear Nicky,

Sorry, but I'll have to be really brief because I'm so sleepy. You had speech and OT today. Yes, that's right, tow therapy sessions in one day. Both therapists made comments about what good shape you're in, etc. You still didn't roll over again, and you had a meltdown during a late-afternoon nap, so don't go getting too full of yourself.

Love,
Dad

An okay day...

Dear Nicky,

You must be recovering from yesterday's impressive exertions. You did a lot of good head lifting on tummy time, and head steadying on sitting time, but no rolling over. I know I shouldn't expect too much of you all the time, but you kind of have spoiled me because you usually exceed my expectations. Oh, well, you're making progress and that's all that matters. Your PT came over this afternoon and he worked you over quite well, and you did well with him. This morning we went out for a while, it was very nice, but then the heat rolled in. I thought it was too hot to go out a second time, so we stayed in. Tomorrow you get two therapists, Shelby and Lauren, almost back to back. We'll try to get you some rest in between the attentions of pretty girls, you dog you.

Love,
Dad

Rolling thunder...

Dear Nicky,

This morning, before I even got up, Mom told me you rolled over seven times. Seven times, without help from her or your magic pants or anything. She said you would not stay on your stomach. You little show-off! You must've tired yourself real good doing that, smart guy. I know because you fell asleep halfway through during your second breakfast and lunch. This afternoon, with your magic pants on, you made a few noble efforts, but I'm afraid you just didn't have it in you. That's okay, though, because you've done it a total of eleven times so far, and those baby muscles are communicating with your baby brain and everything seems to be working just right. You're actually ahead of schedule.

Love,
Dad