A little break...

Dear Nicky,

I'm conflicted about this. I've decided to take a little hiatus, a pause, from this blog. I feel that for the past several weeks, or months (or is it years?), I haven't been able to properly document all the wonder that is you, haven't been able to appreciate all that you do and say and enlighten me with. I feel like I've grown complacent with this journal, and it's become stagnant. I feel like all I do is halfheartedly list a few mundane events of the day out of some twisted sense of obligation or misdirected devotion. I don't know if I have any excuse or not. I don't even know who I am anymore, truth be told. Maybe I'm a bad father. Maybe I'm lazy and selfish. Or maybe I'm a good father who's doing his best in a difficult situation. You deserve better than me writing some banalities every day, frequently tainted with frustration and resentment. We both deserve better, and I'm going to stop punishing myself with this blog for a while and see what happens. I don't how long I'll be away, but let me make one thing clear: I loved you before you were born, I love you now, and I will always love you. Temporarily suspending this blog has nothing to do with the way I feel about you, but perhaps my absence from it will allow me to return to it with renewed energy and refocused on what a great little guy you are.

Love,
Dad

No water...

Dear Nicky,

This afternoon I had to come get you from Stones because there was a water main break and they needed to send all the kids home. It was kind of a long afternoon because Junie was especially needy. Mom came home early and gave me a break for a couple hours.

Love,
Dad

No poopin'...

Dear Nicky,

You're really resisting going on the potty, both physically and performance-wise. I wish I knew what to do with you sometimes, kid.

Love,
Dad

Back to school...

Dear Nicky,

This morning you went back to Stones. Must've benn exciting for you. Listen buddy: I'm a little wiped out this evening due to overall stress levels. I'll be in touch.

Love,
Dad

End of the holidays...

Dear Nicky,

Finally, the week is over and the weekend is over. Goodbye holidays, I'm glad all that stuff is done. I can't wait for you guys to go back to school and back into your routine. You guys have been pretty challenging. You turned your nose up at your dinner, refused to cooperate pottywise, and didn't nap. Man, that's tough. Tomorrow, off you go.

Love,
Dad

Shooting hoops...

Dear Nicky,

This morning we were all wiped out, thanks to you and your sister's midnight antics. Tempers were short but we all did the best we could to be nice to each other. Mom took you guys to the gym for a nice long time. While you guys were gone, I took down the Christmas tree, brought in the Christmas lights, did the dishes, organized a bunch of papers, and took a shower. When you came back, Mom told me she found you guys happily shooting baskets in the gym child care center. Such "typical" behavior always delights me, since neither of my children is typical; both are exceptional.

Love,
Dad

Happy New Year 2010...

Dear Nicky,

It's a new year, full of hope and dreams. This morning Junie had a playdate with a friend who came over here. You guys all had some fun, then it was time for lunch. Afterward we tried to get you guys to nap, but no go. The rest of the afternoon was tense, as your sister's behavior deteriorated. We went for a drive and you guys fell asleep. We came home, had some food, watched Cinderella and went to bed, a torturous, 2 hour affair, filled with yelling and begging. Welcome to 2010, so far same as 2009.

Love,
Dad