Baby CPR...

Dear son,

We took a class tonight on performing CPR on infants. It was very thorough, and the teacher was a very pleasant woman. It was interesting, but also it was a little scary. Still, it's better to know how to do it than not to. I hope we never, ever have to use it. The comforting thing is that if a baby is born healthy and fully developed, you'll almost never have to worry about administering CPR due to sudden spontaneous cardiac arrest, which is great. You'll only have to worry about administering it due to trauma or choking. How comforting. The class was very hands-on, and also very brief, since we were the only couple there for some reason. That meant we were the focus of attention the whole time, which enabled us to proceed quickly. I think I actually spent more time in the Lincoln Tunnel than I did in the classroom, which just goes to show you that New York City traffic is the pits.

Love,
Dad

Getting close...

Dear son,

I'm still trying to straighten up the house, but we've got just about everything we'll need for your arrival: car seat, stroller, clothes...even a Diaper Genie. Boy, I hope that thing works right. It's like a sausage maker, but instead of meat you use dirty diapers. A crib and changing table are on their way. I hope they get here in time, otherwise you'll be sleeping in a bassinet till you're about eight years old. Not to worry, I'm sure they'll get here in time. Kindly make sure you do the same.

Love,
Dad

Saturday, what a day...

Dear son,

I drove your mom out to her parents' house early this morning, and the three of them went to your cousin's birthday party in Pennsylvania, while I stayed behind in order to fix their computer printer. I thought it would be something really easy, but it took me six hours, but finally I got everything working. It would've been nice to have the day partly to myself, but you got to take one for the team every now and then. Meanwhile, your mom is supposed to get a stroller, a car seat, a breast pump, and a bassinet. Guess who those are for.

Love,
Dad

It's adding up...

Dear son,

Well, your mom and I got you some more clothing type stuff today, from Target this time. It's some cute stuff; we think you'll like it. Your mom ordered you a crib and a changing table/dresser thing. I put together a freestanding shelf thing to keep your supplies on: diapers, towels, unguents, etc. Tomorrow I'm continuing with the reorganization. Wish me luck.

Love,
Dad

Just saying hi...

Dear son,

Not much going on today worth talking about. I just wanted to say hello.

Love,
Dad

Chilly tamale...

Dear son,

While you're swimming in a nice warm and quiet water balloon, the rest of us are going to be shivering our tails off for the next couple days. Cold temperatures make me super tired, like now, so I must sign off. Peace out.

Love,
Dad

Dumb classes...

Dear son,

I must be honest with you. These Lamaze classes your mother and I have been going to are just kind of silly. The class leader is clearly very intelligent and knowledgeable about her topic, but I think the classroom/lecture type of thing we're doing is not really her strong point. As your arrival gets closer, I think your mom's anxiety level is steadily increasing, making her a little less patient and tolerant than she might otherwise be. I don't blame her at all, mind you; there is an annoying amount of silliness to be had in this class. But what can you do? Put a bunch of nervous, first-time parents together in a room and we'll all revert to school kids on the first day of school: shy and awkward and easily led. I'll confess, I admire your mother's courage. I think I'd go crazy having a baby inside of me. Furthermore, the father is practically useless in the delivery room, no matter what popular belief says today. I told your mother earlier if there were a way for her labor pains to be magical transferred to me, I would gladly bear them for her. But I can't, so I guess at least I'll be there to give her ice chips and give her somebody to hurl curses at when the pain comes. I'm just joking about that last part.

Love,
Dad

Another perfect visit...

Dear son,

Your mom went for her checkup at the OB/GYN doctors' office today. I couldn't go because I wanted the full day to do work around the house. I wish I had, though. Dr. Headley said everything was perfect--your position, your weight, your cord, the works. She said you looked like you're going to be tall because your legs looked really nice and long. I have to say so far this has been a remarkably blessed event, from your mother's nearly effortless pregnancy, to your perfect development, to the fact that you're a male child. I think we should all be grateful to God for this and future blessings.

Love,
Dad

Your namesake...

Dear son,

You're named after your grandfather, my father, who I hope lives long enough for you to get to know him a little bit. He loves to talk, and I'm sure he'll have plenty of stories to tell you. He loves me very much, I know without a doubt. We hardly ever have any deep conversations, unfortunately. When we talk it's mostly to see how the other is doing, and to warn each other to be careful against all dangers and enemies, real or imagined. I hope you and I can do better together. I think it would be great if we could talk about anything. I'm sure sometimes it'll be hard, but I hope we both try our best.

Love,
Dad

Blizzard of 2005

Dear son,

Shortly after eleven this morning it began to snow very hard, and by late in the day their was quite a bit of accumulation, maybe six to eight inches or so. That's a far cry from what they were predicting just yesterday, but considering we're presently in a lull in the storm, which is expected to continue until one tomorrow afternoon, there'll be plenty of opportunity for it to pile up. Other areas nearby look like they're being harder hit than we are here in Hoboken. I don't know, though; I'm from New Hampshire; I've seen lots worse.

The latest with you is you seem to have shifted position again, or maybe it's getting so cramped in there you can't move the way you used to. Soon enough you'll be out in the open. You might even be a spring (as in the season) baby. I hope that gives you energy and optimism throughout your life.

Love,
Dad

Requires assembly...

Dear son,

I spent today putting together bookcases. You wouldn't have thought it would take so long, but if you're gluing, hammering, and, er, screwing, time seems to fly. It was tiring, but I like assembling stuff. We (meaning I) have a weekend-long project ahead, comprised of moving books and putting other stuff in order for...The Coming of Nicholas! (Cue scary music.)

Love,
Dad

Hope you like Ikea...

Dear son,

Lots of plans are growing in my head about how to equip your room, furniture-wise. I'm trying to convince your mother it's not necessary to spend a fortune for your stuff. I want you to have quality, but it's not like we need to show off or anything. I don't know for sure yet, though. Your aunt Sarah might be pregnant, too. We'll find out this weekend. Another cousin for you!

Love,
Dad

A nice day...

Dear son,

One of the many, many reasons I enjoy writing to you is because it enables me to find bright spots in any day, even ones where the weather's bad or someone's mood is a little off. This morning your mom was in kind of a bad mood. When she's tired she's more easily depressed and more prone to irritability, just like your or I would be, too. I was wracked with stiff legs and a sore back, which depresses me, too. I walked your mom to the subway, came home and got ready, and then went to my acupuncturist, who worked me over real good. He stuck me like a pincushion full of needles and cracked and twisted my spine. I felt so much better I practically floated home, got a burger, then went to Ikea (again) despite the hour, and got four bookcases. Your mom had dinner with some work colleagues, and when she came home, she was in a much better mood, also. When I summarize this stuff for you, it helps me remember the nice parts that exist in every single day, rather than dwelling on the negatives.

Love,
Dad

A real horror movie...

Dear son,

Tonight your mom and I went to another Lamaze class at St. Luke's Hospital. There was a lot of questions and answers, and then we watched this video about three women giving birth. It had a hippie-dippy kind of feel to it, very crunchy granola. The video seemed to have been made in the seventies or eighties; it had a dated look, with corny writing. Oh, and by the way, the video showed everything, and I do mean everything. It showed stuff a guy doesn't really need to see, unless he's a doctor--or a veterinarian. I wonder why in this modern age, with the American people constantly demanding more and more convenience, and increasingly less willing to accept any discomfort, hasn't medical science come up with an easier method of childbirth that's routinely performed? It just seems like a lot of work for both the mother and the child.

Love,
Dad

Yow, it's cold...!

Dear son,

I know the title isn't very original, but neither is a cold winter, so it fits. It's about twenty degrees outside now. I don't think it got above twenty-six all day. Your mom and I went to see a movie in Manhattan today, in a neat movie complex that has all the first-run movies but none of the crowds. It was twenty-one bucks for two tickets, which is considered expensive at the time of this writing, but it's worth it for clean floors, very comfortable seats, and excellent image quality. The theater complex is in Battery Park City, the southernmost part of the city. It's easy to get to by ferry, which is always fun to ride. We got a couple burgers when we got back. Few things in this world are as tasty as a good burger. Your mom got all misty when I told her I've been writing to you since I found out you were going to be a boy, which is a couple months now. We're both very lucky to have her in our lives.

Love,
Dad

Not much new today...

Dear son,

I just sort of hung out today. It was pretty cold outside, so we didn't go anywhere. Your mom thinks there's a bug up her mother's butt, however she's not sure what it's about. She can really push your mom's buttons, let me tell you. I watched an interesting but flawed Japanese horror movie today, called Ju-On, which means "The Grudge." It lacked any sort of satisfying ending, which I thought was actually kind of brave. I enjoy Japanese cinema in general. Perhaps it's because of my affinity for the Japanese themselves. Maybe we can enjoy some Japanese movies together someday.

Love,
Dad

More learning...

Dear son,

Today we attended a class about caring and feeding for babies. It was a long class, but the teacher was a really smart nurse, and she knew her stuff. I took lots of notes and practiced holding a plastic baby many different ways. We're going to have fun experimenting with you and putting theory into practice.

Love,
Dad

Smash...!

Dear son,

You would've enjoyed working with your old man today. There was this big armoire in our living room that we used as a TV cabinet. We needed to get rid of it because we got a newer, sleeker, smaller one. I alone couldn't get it out the door, so I smashed it to pieces and took it down a bit at a time. It was hard work, it took almost three hours just to break it up, but it was fun, too, because, as you'll see, it's fun to break things. I had a hammer and a prybar and safety goggles--always wear eye protection when using tools--and I pried, cracked, and pulled that big white elephant apart all by myself, then carted it down to the trash. It was very, very satisfying. I went through three T-shirts. There was a lot of noise, and dust went all over. Also, there were many loose nails and jagged pieces of wood. They added excitement.

Love,
Dad

Little kicker...

Dear son,

Your mother and I were lying in bed, and I could feel you kicking inside her. I could feel you with my hand even through the comforter, so strongly were you kicking, and I could feel you kicking against my hip. You seemed to respond to the sound of my voice. I like to think so, anyway. Then your mom fell asleep with her head on my shoulder. I let her stay like that for the longest time, just listening to her sweet breathing and feeling your softer fluttering. This is one of those things where you'll have to wait till you become a father yourself to fully grasp the depths of emotion I'm only hinting at.

Love,
Dad

Redecorating has officially begun...

Dear son,

The title says it all. Today I went to Ikea and got a new TV unit. It takes a kind of weird genius to put that stuff together. Fortunately, I happen to be one. I had to stop for now because there's further hammering involved and it's getting late. I'm really tired, too, so I'll say good night.

Love,
Dad

Lamaze class: the beginning...

Dear son,

Tonight we went to our first Lamaze class, which was spent primarily learning about the internal events that occur during pregnancy. It was long, kind of crowded, and somewhat uncomfortable, but it was kind of fun. I drove in, and I'm so glad I did, because after class was over, we got in our car and were home in about twenty minutes. The class itself is taught by a pleasant woman named Trinisha, who really seems to know her stuff. I think the information we'll glean will be worth the considerable trouble involved in attending this class. Don't feel guilty or anything, but we're doing this all for you (well, it's okay if you want to feel a little guilty).

Love,
Dad

Perfect...

Dear son,

Your mother and I went to the doctors' office today for another checkup. All the doctor could say was "perfect." You're the perfect weight, perfect size, and in the perfect position. So basically you're perfect. You must take after me.

Love,
Dad

Father-son activities...

Dear son,

I want you to learn to swim and ride a bike at an early age. In school I want you to try a variety of extracurricular activities and find some you like. Sports will be very good for you, both mentally and physically. I hope I can coach you in baseball someday. I also look forward to doing stuff with you in Cub Scouts. I hope you'll want to do stuff with me half as much as I'll want to do stuff with you.

Love,
Dad

Grampa says hello...

Dear son,

Nothing much went on today, so I've got no real news or things to say. Your Grampa called this afternoon to say hello. My folks seemed in rare good spirits, which is something to be grateful for, and I think it's due to your impending arrival. They are so happy you're on your way.

Love,
Dad

Just try...

Dear son,

This morning there was a dog barking awfully in the apartment across the hall. I think the guy who lives there got himself a new pet. I don't how long he's had it, or if it's even his. I never heard it before today. Maybe he usually plays the radio to keep it company while he's away, or it really is new, I don't know. My point is that it was barking and whining terribly. It sounded like the poor dog was not in pain, but lonely and scared. It wasn't the noise that bothered me, it was the fact that the dog was in such emotional distress, or at least that's what it sounded like to me. So I called the management office and told them. I think they called the dog's owner or somebody from maintenance to come check it on it. Somebody must've come because it was quiet thereafter. Certain animals, especially companion animals like dogs and cats, are totally dependent on people to stay alive. I'm not on any sort of crusade, but if I see or hear an animal in trouble, I try to help it at least a little, if I can.

Love,
Dad

No furniture yet, little dude...

Dear son,

You've gotten a lot of clothes so far, but no furniture. Plans are finally starting to coalesce in my head. I'll keep you posted. By the way, what do you think: Xbox or PlayStation 2?

Love,
Dad

What a night...!

Dear son,

Sheesh! What a night your old man had last night! I was actually a little worried that I'd have to go to the hospital emergency room. From about 4:30 to around 1:00, I had the worst dizziness I can ever remember. The slightest movement of my head made the world spin like crazy. I was worried it might have been some kind of stroke or something. We thought it might have been food poisoning, but I wasn't nauseous or have the runs. I'm starting to think it might have been some chemical poisoning. But I don't remember eating anything that tasted funny. The weird thing is today I woke up feeling fine. In fact, after taking a shower I felt like a million bucks. Apart from being really tired, I feel like I've been born again, which I know sounds weird to you, considering you haven't even been born once, but take it from me, it feels pretty good.

Love,
Dad

Whoa, dizzy...

Dear son,

Tonight's post will be even more brief than usual; I'm not feeling so good again, I'm afraid. Anyway, I took another trip to Ikea today to eyeball some more furniture for the living room and for you. I narrowed down our choices, but I need to get your mother's opinion, too. You'll know when I do, I guess.

Love,
Dad

Good cholesterol...

Dear son,

There's this substance in people's blood that has the potential of being bad for their hearts. It's called cholesterol, and if people don't do something about it, they may have troubles as they get older. Mine was too high, according to my doctor, so he gave me some medicine to make it go down, and boy, it sure did work. My cholesterol is 163, lower than it's ever been in my life, but I think the medicine is giving me some kind of rash, which isn't any funny, as I'm sure you will soon be able to attest.

Love,
Dad

Nice score...

Dear son,

Today I got six pairs of socks. You, on the other hand, got a dozen new baby outfits, including some hats and booties, not to mention a couple of blankets. Your mother and granny and I went to a bunch of stores, still on the lookout for furniture, but we had no luck. So I wanted to go to a Best Buy store and see about maybe getting a PlayStation 2, but they were all out. Meanwhile, your mother and granny, went to a clothing store and got you all that stuff I told you about. Unless you tell otherwise right away, we're just going to assume you love it all.

Love,
Dad

Happy New Year!

Dear son,

The great thing about the New Year is that it feels like you're getting a fresh start. Learn from the mistakes of the past but don't dwell on them. Every day is a fresh start if you want it to be.

Love,
Dad