Farewell 2008...

Dear Nicky,

This is the last day of the year. This morning we took off in a hurry because Mom didn't want to be around when the cleaning lady was here. I went to the bank, then met up with you guys at Granny's house, where we froze our butts off for a while. I guess these people don't believe in running the heat even if it is below freezing outside. Then I went off to a doctor's appointment. First I grabbed some coffee, and after my appointment I went over to Barnes and Noble. You were napping when I got home, then you woke up, had some dinner, then a bath, and now we're all in bed before the New Year.

Love,
Dad

You eat grapes...

Dear Nicky,

For the first time ever, you actually ate some grapes this morning with breakfast. I didn't actually see it, but Mom told me. I'm so happy. Maybe this will progress to expanding your repertoire of things you eat. Later Mom took you and June to a day camp place for a few hours where you guys played around and had a lot of fun and were very well behaved, according to the operator. Mom and Granny picked you up afterward and brought you home, where you took a nap. Afterward Mom took you out to Granny's for a visit and to play with Nigel the cat. Then you came home, had a snack, and I put you to bed. I was pretty lame today; I have a cold and it makes me super tired.

Love,
Dad

Lots accomplished...

Dear Nicky,

This morning you and I went to Target and got a bunch of stuff, then we went to Kings for groceries. Later I took the Honda for a lube, oil and filter, and got the tires rotated as well. Then Mom took you guys to see Aunt Duchy all day. When you came home you were both tired and ready for bed.

Love,
Dad

Frogs and turtles...

Dear Nicky,

Today was very warm so we decided to go out and about. First we went to the Great Swamp, but the boardwalks were still covered in ice, which made it no good for little ones like you and Junie. So we drove around a little then went to an ecological center in Basking Ridge. The boardwalks were too snowy there as well, so we went inside where they had little tanks on display of local area fishes, snails, crayfish, turtles, and frogs. It was fun.

Love,
Dad

I sleep late...

Dear Nicky,

This morning, Mom was kind enough to let me sleep a little later. When I went to bed last night, I was feeling pretty wiped out, but this morning I felt much better. Later in the morning, Mom took you guys to the supermarket and I went to BJs and Home Depot. I got a bunch of diapers and my monthly supply of water from the former, and at the latter, I got a replacement flush arm for the upstairs hall toilet and a new magnetic latch for the kitchen cabinet. Then Grace's sister Mary came over to babysit you guys while Mom and I went out to dinner and then to Barnes and Noble. I drove Mary home, returned, covered you up, and am now retiring momentarily.

Love,
Dad

Boxing Day 2008...

Dear Nicky,

Last night I had total insomnia, and I think you and Junie slept poorly as well, and the reason for this is, I believe, the chocolate cake we had last night. We simply had it too late in the evening, at least I did, and it kept me up literally all night. I had insomnia and terrible heartburn. I got up very tired and have been feeling weak and run down all day. I think I'm now also battling a bug that till now my immune system was able to keep at bay. We were worried that we're hanging out too much, not doing anything except watching TV, so we went for a drive. It was getting dark so it was easy to see into people's houses. Guess what they were doing? Hanging out and watching TV.

Love,
Dad

Merry Christmas 2008...

Dear Nicky,

Christmas this year was a darn sight better this year than last. Everybody slept nice and late, we had a nice breakfast, you guys opened a lot of presents, then had a nap while I put together this monstrously complicated kitchen playset for you and June. Mom made an excellent beef stew and candycane cake for dessert. Uncle Jonny came over around 4:30 or so and hung out way too long. You guys were pretty good all day and went to bed easily. Compared to last year, this Christmas was a titanic triumph.

Love,
Dad

Christmas Eve 2008...

Dear Nicky,

Well, Christmas is upon us again. At least this year we're in our own little home, safe and comfortable. And while the lousy weather and the nature of the season limit greatly any sort of outdoor activity we might consider, at least we're not in Anguilla, like this time last year, where Junie wouldn't stop crying and you got a double ear infection. I'm actually looking forward to a very boring holiday. This afternoon we went to an early service at the church. There was a puppet show. It was hot and crowded. It was over in a flash. Now that's a Christmas miracle.

Love,
Dad

Fast yet slow...

Dear Nicky,

Today was another busy day yet nothing seemed to happen. Went to Target early with Junie. You had a half day at school and a little party. You came home around two really tired. I put you up and we all napped till about four. Then I went to some stores, came back, and put you to bed. Thrilling.

Love,
Dad

Talkin' about ya...

Dear Nicky,

This morning I met your new caseworker. Nice lady, very pleasant. Another member of your fan club. Told her what we want short term and long term, hope she can help. Could enough for you today?

Love,
Dad

More snow...

Dear Nicky,

Not much to comment on from yesterday, if I recall. We went to the library in the morning just to get out of the house. They have a little fish tank there, and you enjoyed looking at the fish. Later, Granny came over to watch you guys for a bit while Mom and I went to Target to get gift certificates for a bunch of people. That place was packed. We also went to Starbucks and got some more gift cards and some coffee. Then we went briefly to the supermarket. When we came home, I made you dinner and Mom wrote a bunch more Christmas cards for the people we just got gift certificates for.

Today we woke up to more snow. We hung out all day. I ran the snow thrower again around noon. You guys had some PB&J for lunch then took a nap. Later Granddaddy came over and took you over to his house for a while, and Granny brought you back. We then called it a day. Pretty exciting, huh?

I'm gonna owe you one...

Dear Nicky,

I should've written earlier, and now I'm too tired to think straight and need to go to bed. I'll catch you up tomorrow.

Love,
Dad

Snow day...

Dear Nicky,

No school today. A major snowstorm was predicted and it arrived around nine or ten this morning. We were all stuck inside all day, but it wasn't so bad. When it let up, around 3:30 or so, I went out and shoveled and ran the snow blower, then I loaned it to our neighbor, who hadn't gotten his out of the shed yet. For dinner you had some chicken nuggets and applesauce. Everybody went to bed early, except for me. At nine, I went outside to clear our driveway of the snow left by the plow before it froze solid. One of the kids from across the street came and gave me a hand, then we both helped the other guy across the street, who didn't do his driveway all day. Then the three of us did the driveway of the neighbor I loaned the snowblower to originally. It's good karma to help others, and we can all use more of that.

Love,
Dad

Santa comes to Stones...

Dear Nicky,

So this morning Mom and June and I came to your school party to see Santa with you. At first we hung back, just watching you and your buddies. Then Junie found you and gave you a hug and you were happy to see her but puzzled, too, as if wondering, What's she doing here? Then you saw Mom and rushed over to her and gave her a big hug. We milled about for a while and said hello to various people, then Santa appeared and eventually you and Junie went up to sit on his lap and receive your presents. You guys are at an age where you're fascinated by Santa and yet apprehensive of him, so no one freaked out but you guys didn't smile a whole lot either, at least not in the pictures I took. Afterward I took you guys home and gave you lentils for lunch. Then your sitter came and I took off for a while. When I came back I did the trash and the recycling, then made you some veggie nuggets for dinner, which you ate while watching TV. Neither of you kids napped this afternoon, so you were exhausted when the day finally came to an end, and you went to bed easily and gratefully.

Love,
Dad

Bloody nose...

Dear Nicky,

Sorry, my boy. It's my fault. This morning as I was suctioning your nose to send you off to school snot-free, you twisted your head just as I was putting the syringe up your nostril. It must've hurt, because your cries turned to shrieks and blood came out. Not a lot, but it felt like a lot to me. I'm so sorry. I felt sick afterward. I guess I was trying too hard. But you've already forgiven me. You always do. That's why you're the better man.

Love,
Dad

Snow and spotlights...

Dear Nicky,

This afternoon it started to snow. I went to the gym with Junie, then to Home Depot for another outdoor floodlight; they were all out. I wanted to check Target, but it looked way too busy. When you came home I gave you guys some milk, then chicken nuggets for dinner. You loved them and ate a lot. Junie drew on her blanket with ketchup. When Mom came home I took off to find a replacement floodlight, the other one having been damaged due to water and my own clumsiness. I went to Target, Home Depot again, and Wal-Mart with no luck. The weather was looking bad and I hesitated to go all the way to Union to the Home Depot there. But I did, and after much searching and almost giving up, I found what I was looking for. I was hugely successful. And I bought two just in case. Never give up, never be afraid to try.

Love,
Dad

Fever, and cards...

Dear Nicky,

This morning I took Junie to the docs after sending you off to school. Funny, but your driver gave me a little attitude about how nobody called him Friday afternoon when we decided we weren't going to send you into school at all. Yeah, right, buddy, Friday was such a good day for our family. Later when you got home we went for a ride and sent out our Christmas cards. We'll send some more out to some old therapists and stuff as soon as I get the chance. But who knows when that'll be?

Love,
Dad

Junie's fever, and other business...

Dear Nicky,

Last night Junie had quite a fever. It was alarming to us, but we treated her with Motrin and Tylenol, and she slept in bed with Mom. Her spirits were quite good all day long. I called the docs first thing this morning and they were quite unconcerned, said don't even bother to bring her in, so we didn't and she's sleeping peacefully now. Earlier I had to make a quick run to BJs to stock up on diapers. The floodlight bulb outside has burned out and it kept tripping the GFIC, which did exactly what it was supposed to do and cut out. Right now I'm printing another copy of your old Me book because tomorrow I'm meeting with your new caseworker and I'm just going to introduce your history to her and try to get her onboard Team Nicholas.

Love,
Dad

We go out, and Junie gets a fever...

Dear Nicky,

This morning we went to Wegman's and got a bunch of stuff, then this afternoon Junie developed a little fever. This evening the Ameses took us out to dinner, a gesture of appreciation for me helping with their computer problems. I'm happy to do it for free, but they insisted. It was nice time. Their kids watched you guys. When we came home, Mom thought she'd lost her bag, but had merely placed it on the floor. Then I checked Junie's temperature and found it high, gave her some Tylenol, and now she's sleeping in mama's bed. I'll check her temp again in a little while.

Love,
Dad

A procedure...

Dear Nicky,

This morning, before even the crack of dawn, Granny came over to watch you guys while Mom and I went to the doctor's office for a procedure. We were there quite a while, but it was a great facility and everybody was very nice and we did what we needed to do. We kept you home from school because we knew Granny couldn't get you ready to send off. We were going to send you in late, but it took us longer than we thought to get home, so you got the day off. When I got home I brought in the trash can, took out some trash, went to the store, took a nap, made your dinner, suctioned your nose, put you to bed, then made our own dinner. It's been a long, busy day.

Love,
Dad

Cold, dreary, rainy...

Dear Nicky,

This weather saps my strength. I'll write you another entry tomorrow.

Love,
Dad

More torture...

Dear Nicky,

Tonight I wrestled with you so hard in order to suction your nose, we both broke out into a sweat. I hate cold and flu season. Whenever you get a cold it's always the same thing: massive congestion and profusely runny nose. Till now I've been very reluctant to stick a syringe up there, doing it in only the most profound circumstances, but with this cold we've decided to be much more aggressive. It's torture for you, I know, to get stuff squirted up your nose, then sucked out, then more stuff squirted up there. But it's really torture for me, too, to make that which I love more than anything cry out so hard and heartbreaking.

Love,
Dad

Some bad news...

Dear Nicky,

None of this pertains to you or Junie, but Mom and I got some bad news this evening. I suppose it's not end of the world-type news, but it makes me feel sad, depressed, disappointed, angry, and other bad emotions. It feels like an elephant is standing on my head. I just want to go to sleep and escape. Mom feels even worse. It's not something I want to tell you about right now, if ever.

Love,
Dad

Still digging...

Dear Nicky,

This morning I got a lot out of your nose, this evening not so much. Maybe your cold won't be so bad this time around. Oh, and you ate nothing for dinner.

Love,
Dad

Those darn sinuses...

Dear Nicky,

There is love, then there is love. The latter is the kind that allows a person to suck out gobs of sticky green snot out of his kid's nose, despite that kid flailing and crying and in general reacting to the torturous sensations of forced saline irrigation and rubber suction devices as if he is, well, being tortured. That's what I did this morning, then I gave you a snoot of Rhinocort. You were in pretty good shape for the rest of the day, and when I tormented you again this evening with trembling hands and a quavering heart, the fruit of your nostrils was not nearly so copious and offensive to the eye as this morning's emissions. That's love for you, my boy, that's my love for my boy, that I do that which breaks my heart a little bit each time and rends my spirit far more than it aggravates you physically, that you might feel better and sleep better and not have rivers of snot flowing out all over your face. You're welcome.

Love,
Dad

We accomplish a lot...

Dear Nicky,

This morning we all went to Music Together. It was a small group but nice. I think my presence there, which was unusual, perhaps inhibited you or disturbed you in some way, as you didn't seem quite yourself. Then again it seems you may be coming down with a cold again. Lately, we've been giving you a snort of Rhinocort in your nostrils, which is supposed to reduce membrane inflammation and thus promote better drainage. After Music Together, we had lunch and a nap. Also, Mom contacted the company that made our Christmas cards and ordered a new batch, since the first ones were too dark and caused me a surprising amount of distress. But it's all fixed now and we should get the new cards next week. You woke up halfway through your nap, so I snuggled you for a while and you slept a good long time. Then we went over to Grace's house because her sister was having some trouble with her computer, but I fixed it, of course. I also made it so her brother could connect his iPod Touch to the Internet as well. That family is very nice. Then we came back home, had some dinner and a bath, then watched Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer, and went to bed. It was a nice day, pretty calm, and we got a lot done.

Love,
Dad

Tumble...

Dear Nicky,

This evening you were sitting on the edge of the kitchen floor where it drops down into the sunken family room when you lost your balance and fell over backward. You weren't hurt but you were scared. It seemed like you fell over in slow motion and in a sort of fixed type of pose. I'm glad you weren't hurt, but maybe your body learned a little something from this to help improve your coordination.

Love,
Dad

Bad dinner bahavior...

Dear Nicky,

Mom came home this evening and you guys were glad to see her. For dinner I made you guys some veggie nuggets, but I guess I must have missed my window with you Nick--the point at which you're not too tired to eat--and you wouldn't touch them. In fact you shoved your plate almost off the table and demanded cookies. Unacceptable behavior, buddy. Sorry, but you get no reward for that, least of all cookies.

Love,
Dad

12 pizza bites...

Dear Nicky,

Maybe you were hungry, maybe it's a growth spurt but you ate 12 pizza bagels tonight. Earlier we tried to watch the Pixar movie Wall-E, and it was good for a while but then it sort of lost steam. Junie could not sit still. I put you guys to bed shortly after dinner. Your behavior was deteriorating fast. At least you didn't go to bed hungry.

Love,
Dad

Home early but no surprise...

Dear Nicky,

You got home early today, but I wasn't surprised; I somehow expected it. Nothing major to report, except that you ate well and had a nice bath.

Love,
Dad

Daddy alone...

Dear Nicky,

Mom left early this morning for a business trip. I'll be alone with you guys for the next four days. I got you off to school this morning, ran a bunch of errands, and put you guys to bed this evening. Very productive day. No problems, no worries.

Love,
Dad