Days of freaks and hot dogs...

Dear son,

We went to Ikea today in another halfhearted attempt to find furniture to make room for your arrival. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. We simply can't decide on what bookcases to get, for goodness' sake! But anyway, we went to Ikea in Elizabeth, New Jersey. This store is truly gigantic. It's like the Pentagon for pre-fabricated, do-it-yourself, slightly cheesy furniture. However, some of their styles and products are acceptable, and their prices are usually pretty good. Unfortunately, your mom and I really didn't have much of chance to browse in peace. It was very crowded, and the store is laid out in what seems to me a chaotic fashion. Also, there was a morbidly obese woman on a scooter there who was constantly in our way. At one point, she passed close enough to us that we could smell her body odor. We were done for the day at that point, but it took us another twenty minutes to find the exit. We picked up a catalog and were preparing to leave when this incredible hunger came over me, so we had a couple hot dogs apiece. They were remarkably cheap and very tasty. I was very lucky to find them. And don't worry; your room will be ready by the time you get here.

Love,
Dad