You little spaz...

Dear son,

Your mom was joking earlier about how all your movements inside her are jerky, not graceful like a ballet dancer. I said I should hope they were; who wants a ballet dancer for a son? I'm just kidding. I only made that up just now. Actually I told her not to worry; at this stage, I believe, you're a collection of involuntary, unconscious reactions, so not to worry. Grace is a state of mind, like a Jedi or something.

Love,
Dad