Darn glasses...

Dear Nicky,

Today, your big boy glasses that we just had fixed last week came home busted again. Seems one of the lenses popped out. Drat it. You'll just have to wear your old pair for a while.
For dinner you had some delicious hamburger and fries, with milk and a banana for dessert. Then it was bath time and straight to bed.

Love,
Dad

What a day...

Dear Nicky,

Today both you and June in church this morning in front of the whole congregation. To be honest, Mom and I were a little anxious about how you would do, but you did just great, at least as well as any other boy your age. You were smiling and singing loud and clear and it was wonderful. Your sister also did well, performing with lots of energy and focus. After we came home, Granny came and took June out to Aunty's house because it was your cousin Lotty's birthday, and Mom and I took you over to South Orange for your friend David's birthday party. When that was over, we too went out to Lotty's, but you fell asleep and stayed that way for almost the whole time we were out there. You finally woke up, had some yogurt and goldfish for the road, then we came home and went to bed. It was a long and busy today, but it was a good one.

Love,
Dad

Back to normal...

Dear Nicky,

So this morning while June and Mom were at the gym, you and I hung out at home waiting for the cable guy, who came reasonably on time and fixed our Internet connection, which had been acting weird for the past couple days. Actually, it wasn't working at all, and it was like a painful withdrawal nor having access to it. So the guy came and gave us a new modem and now we're good again. After Mom and June came back, Mom had to go to a wrap session for the Stones upcoming tricky tray. She was gone most of the afternoon and it was just the three of us. We had some laughs, did some drawing, played some Wii, had some lunch, and did some laundry. When she came back we went out for dinner, then came home, gave June a bath, read two stories, and went to bed. Both Mom and June seem to have colds, but so far we've been spared. Papou called to say my mom is seeming to do better, so let's keep our fingers crossed.

Love,
Dad

Early dismissal...

Dear Nicky,

So today because of the weather you came home early, and you were in the best mood. We did our usual routine, then I patched you and you have become just so brave about it, no complaints, nothing. We did some Wii, then drew, then listened to some music, had dinner, a bath, then bed. Nothing exciting, but we did get a report that your now pedaling a tractor type of therapeutic toy at Stones, which is just great.
We've got some bad snow happening outside, so I bet we're all gonna be hanging out tomorrow. There's no one I'd rather be with than my little family.

Love,
Dad

Glasses repaired...

Dear Nicky,

The other day in a fit of pique you threw your glasses across the room and messed them up. This morning I took them over to our pal, Jeff the optician, and he fixed them and a spare pair for his usual price of nothing. This afternoon when you came home you were asleep but soon woke up after I started the Wii. You are once again bravely tolerating the patch on your right eye to strengthen your left one. You and June both played some Wii while I made dinner, then Mom came home and it was time for bed.

Y'know, Michelle at Dr. Amy's couldn't say enough nice things about you today. She went on and on about how sweet and smart you are. I told her how lucky I am to have you.

Love,
Dad

Some kinda steak...

Dear Nicky,

So this evening I made us one of those steaks we received from one of your mother's authors for Christmas. Man, it was goooooood. Both you and June ate a ton. I think it's been a while since you actually had steak so I'm glad I could hook you up. You also had a lot of milk, some cookies, and a banana. Then it was bath time, then bed. It was wicked cold out today too. Hope it breaks soon.

Love,
Dad

Long, cold day...

Dear Nicky,

This morning we went to church, and heard you did well in your Sunday School class. The sermon was kind of lame. Then we came home, got you patched, played some Wii, had dinner, went to bed. Nothing spectacular going on today because it was too darn cold for anything outside. And it's not like we played Wii all day, either. It was just a lazy Sunday.

Love,
Dad

The little angry dude...

Dear Nicky,

We were having a great morning with the girls gone. You take your patching like a champ and your video game skills grow by leaps and bounds. I think your hand strength and finger positioning has improved in the past several days of play Wii Lego Star Wars. But at one point you were looking at the game and trying to sit down and missed your seat and went into a rage! You tore off your glasses and threw them across the room, messing up the frame and popping out the lenses. Brat. Then we went to Target for some stuff, then Mom and I went to dinner for some good sushi, then a movie, while Laurie the sitter bathed you and put you to bed. Try not to lose your cool, son, because someone could use it against you.

Love,
Dad

Like a fish...

Dear Nicky,

This afternoon we went for your swimming lesson. After only three lessons you're a better swimmer than June after three months. You're happy and fearless in the water. I really got a thrill of watching you splash purposefully around. Your little legs really went kick-kick-kick. Your teacher loves you, obviously. You'll be swimming by summer. I'm so proud of you!

Love,
Dad

I'm feeling better....

Dear Nicky,

I managed to get to the gym today and burn off some stress, and I think you're feeling better, so hopefully we can both get some sleep tonight.

Love,
Dad

Here we go again...

Dear Nicky,

Remember the old days, when you'd wake up crying between 11 and 12, usually due to an ear infection? Well, they're back. I don't want to be negative, so I'll just say good night.

Love,
Dad

Icy day...

Dear Nicky,

This morning everything was coated in ice. Your school was delayed, your ride was delayed, the streets were a mess. After we sent you off, I sent Junie off, then cleaned the driveway and helped our neighbor do hers. I straightened up a lot around the house, then got my braces tightened, picked up June and waited for you. When you got home, we did the usual stuff, then I patched you and we played some Wii. You were especially brave and non-complaining. Your character is an example for us all.

Love,
Dad

I'm back...

Dear Nicky,

I'm back, baby boy. I missed you. I can't wait to see you in the morning. I hope you're happy to see me. I had a long drive today, and I was a long time away from you, but I was very productive and everything seemed to go my way. There's going to be a storm tomorrow so we will see how our day goes, but I'm just glad to be back.

Love,
Dad

Great news...

Dear Nicky,

So Yiayia's thyroid biopsy results came back sooner than expected, and the great news is that it's not the Big C. Her thyroid still needs to come out because it has something called Hashimoto's thyroiditis, which makes her own body attack itself. This will all be addressed after she gets her strength back and starts moving around again. I'm coming home tomorrow. I've done more in the last eight days than my parents have done in the last eight months. I've got all the balls rolling so I think I can turn it over to somebody else.

Love,
Dad

Slightly better...

Dear Nicky,

Yiayia was much better this morning, clearer headed and more comfortable. She even sat upright in a chair for the first time in days. Then she got a little tired and cranky and went back to bed. I went to a bookstore and a movie. I hope you had a nice day.

Love,
Dad

Boy, is Yia Yia angry...

Dear Nicky,

As you know my mother is sick. She's been on pain Mede for while and they've made her a little nuts. She spent most of the morning cussing me out, but they gave her some stuff that seemed to clear her head. I've accomplished a lot on this trip, but I can't wait to get back to you guys!

Love,
Dad

Another day of forgiveness...

Dear Nicky,

My mom was in a lot of pain today. It wasn't good to see, and I'm sure it was less fun for her to experience. For a guy that hates hospitals, I sure spend enough time in there, don't I?

Love,
Dad

Tough on grandmother...

Dear Nicky,

Got a lot accomplished today, a lot. But it wasn't without a lot of discomfort for my mother and a lot of psychic pain for me. She seems quite demented and I don't know if it's going to be permanent or not. I'm doing the best I know how, but boy is she mad at everybody. It snowed all day, but up here in New Hampshire, where I'm from, they know how to deal with it. I hope you're well and happy, and I think about you, Mom, and Junie constantly.

Love,
Dad

Productive day...

Dear Nicky,

Oh I miss you terribly. Today was long and hard but progress is happening with my mother. She sure is angry and fearful. A nice socialmworker is helping us out a lot if you can believe it.

I'll keep you posted.

Love,
Dad

Worse than I thought...

My dear Nicky,

Forgive me for not writing last night, so soon after I had said I would begin again, but last night I drove up to New Hampshire to check on your grandmother, and she is not doing well at I'm afraid. I was so started i fell asleep as soon as I got in bed. My mother's in the hospital and she's showing signs of dementia in addition to an appalling poor health overall. My dad is not much help either, because he's stubborn, bewildered, and nearly deaf. I miss my family so much, and I feel so terribly alone up here.

Love,
Dad

A year and a day...

Darling Nicky,

As the title says, it's been a year and a day since I really did any sort of entry into this little journal of ours. Time has passed unbelievably quickly. For the last couple months I've been thinking about taking up this endeavor and bearing witness to our travels through life together. A year ago, I thought it was a good idea to stop writing for a while because I was in an especially dark place emotionally. It felt like so much of your development had plateaued, you didn't seem to be getting the hang of potty training, and all my entries in this journal merely reminded me of the darkness and bitterness in my head, and I felt it would be better to stop writing altogether rather than focus constantly on the negative. But in the last year my love for you has continued to deepen, you're making progress in so many ways, and you're pretty much completely potty trained. Your speech is through the roof. And while your articulation needs improvement, your sentence structure and vocabulary grows increasingly sophisticated. And I'm always proud of how hard you work and how patient and loving you are with your family, our little ohana. Understand this, Nicky: my not writing for a while was never really about you; it was entirely about me. My feelings for you, my love, my passion, never wavered. Only my own character did, and that only in the sense that I saw I was dwelling on the negatives, and not concentrating on the greatest positive, the source of my strength, that which gives me courage and allows me to experience depths of love I never imagined--you, my greatest adventure.

Love,
Dad