Holloween in the suburbs...

Dear Nicky,

Mom took you to Stones today while I spent the morning cleaning up the yard. There were so many leaves it took a long time. When you guys came back, you went down for a nap and Mom and I went out to lunch. You had speech therapy this afternoon instead PT. Afterward we went out for a walk because the temperature was so mild. You loved seeing all the other kids in their costumes, but you quickly became tired. So we came home, fed you, and put you to bed. I didn't love your costume. It was a black and white cow. I told everyone you were a baby bull.

Love,
Dad

Mondays, ugh...

Dear Nicky,

Your sister woke us at four this morning, and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Instead of taking you to daycare this morning, I got you to take a three-hour nap. Nice! You also ate decently for a change, both lunch and dinner, and all that was needed was for me to clown around a little and make you laugh in order to distract you. Both you kids started whining around the same time, but you didn't want a second nap. I think you weren't as tired today because you had no therapies. That sort of thing is good for you, but everyone needs a break once in a while.

Love,
Dad

Hey pal...

Dear Nicky,

How tedious for you to hear how tired I am all the time. I apologize. I must have talked about how tired I am for the last several weeks, and little else. It's now a little earlier, and I'm feeling maybe a little better, so here I am.

You're teething lately. You must be. In the past, with teething episodes, you've been tired, whiney, cranky, and not interested in eating. Not to mention snotty. Sorry, but it's true; you can be a regular fountain of snot sometime, pal. It's okay though; it doesn't bother me. The other night I wiped your nose with my bare hand. That's love, kid. But when you don't eat and don't seem happy, that worries me as your father. I know it will pass, as it has before but I can't help it. Your discomfort is my discomfort. We are one.

Anyway, the last couple weeks have been a little rough going. Therapies have been so-so. But in the last couple days, you've at last at last at last started to assume the four-point position on your own, and pretty nicely too! You do it often and with great laughter and joy as if to say, "Look at me! Bet you thought I couldn't do it!" We're so happy and proud of you!

Love,
Dad

At last...

Dear Nicky,

This evening you got into four-point with no help from us. You did it all by your self. Congratulations! And thank you.

Love,
Dad

A shot...

Dear Nicky,

Yesterday we got you a Sysnagis shot. You've been pretty difficult for a while. I'm so tired all the time I can barely think. If you would juat make some progress, it would make all our lives so easier.

Love,
Dad

Whoops...

Dear Nicky,

Wednesday are my hardests day, them and Monday. I'm tired all the time.

Love,
Dad

Flying solo...

Dear Nicky,

I'm falling asleep, so excuse any tiredness and stuff. So we went to Stones today, and it was the first time you would recieve therapy without me around. So as soon as I put you down I was ushered off to a coffeelatch, whrere we sat in a circle and talked about our experiences in this world we live in. Soon it was time to go. The threapists were all very happy how you took to everything. Then we came home, I put you to bed, then I went and rarn errends. Later when your PT came you were a total pill, but afterward you got a hyge meal and went to bed.

Love,
Dad

Hungry...

Dear Nicky,

You ate very little today. You gotta eat more. Man, am I tired. More later.

Love,
Dad

Long day of cleaning...

Dear Nicky,

Gosh, today was a tiring day, and unfortunately I couldn't really play with you too much. It was junk day, when everybody brings out the junk form their homes and puts it on the street so the collectors can come and haul it away. I had a lot of cleaning to do. Your grandparents and Uncle Jon came over, for the latter's second birthday party. Now we're all tired, so I must say good night.

Love,
Dad

They weren't kidding...

Dear Nicky,

They weren't kidding, the doctors, that is, when they said kids your age, you're lucky if you get one good meal in 'em a day. It's true. Sometimes you are quite uninterested in eating to say the least. This afternoon and evening you did eat well but not easily. This morning I went to Home Depot, thinking it would be faster than driving to Lowe's, which is better but farther away. Well, it must've been inept and incompetent day there, let me tell you. It took a long time to get out through those cashiers they have there. If you have any Home Depot stock, dump it; it's so poorly managed it's almost funny. You went to bed really early tonight. Nice!

Love,

Dad

Stealthy move...

Dear Nicky,

You're a sneaky fellow, all right. I went to the doc's in the city today for my cough, which he thinks is asthma/allergies/reflux by the way, and you guys were here with Granny and Mom. Well, apparently, at one point, you were on your tummy and the next thing you know, you're sitting upright, but the thing is no one saw you do it. Now don't get me wrong, we want you to figure out how to sit up from lying prone, and we're very excited that this might be something that could happen soon, so you keep practicing, in secret if you have to. You're brave and hardworking and despite all the work we make you do, you're still a good sport and sunny as the day is long.

Love,
Dad

I go running...

Dear Nicky,

After your nanny came today I went for a run. I did 20 minutes at a very light pace and was able to keep going the whole time without stopping, fainting, or puking. It was great! I can't remember the last time I went for a run. The weather was beautiful and the temperature was just right. Then I took a shower and ran a bunch of errands. You were in a fine mood most of the day and took a nice nap in the late morning. You were kind of fussy with your speech therapist, and quite fussy when we tried to introduce you to toothpaste for babies. Later your nanny took you and June for a walk. She attends to you very well, and even did some laundry unasked. Nice! Then I fed and watered you after she left and put you to bed quick, for you were getting really cranky, due, we suspect, to the influx of new teeth. You're such a trouper!

Love,
Dad

Evaluation day...

Dear Nicky,

Well, yesterday was kind of a wash, nothing spectacular going on. We kept you home from daycare due to excessive snottiness. You did some more kneeling, which was nice, and you worked out with your PT reasonably well, I think. I've been dealing with a cold for the past several days--feels like months, actually--and I sometimes take some NyQuil at night to help, and that stuff can really knock you out.

Anyhoo, today was an evaluation day at Stones, and you did very well in all three areas, PT, speech, and OT. Everybody was really positive, except for the OT which we'd hoped we wouldn't get but we got anyway. She's kind of a pill and tends to focus on the negative. But you did great despite her less than helpful attitude, but you were wiped out. After we got home, you were out till one o'clock or so. Your nanny gave you a beefaroni lunch, which you pounded. Then you worked out with your PT this afternoon. He keeps marveling at your physical strength, and also is perplexed by your refusal to go from prone to sitting. But he thinks that's right around the corner.

Love,
Dad

Throat hurts...

Dear Nicky,

No, not yours; mine. My throat hurts. I owe you one entry.

Love,
Dad

Squirrels drive me nuts...

Dear Nicky,

Came downstairs this morning, what do we see. A squirrel or two had just completely chewed up part of our lawn. Very annoying. I hope I get him! Or them. This afternoon you went to Granny's house. I did yardwork, etc. and tired to take a nap, with no luck.

Love,
Dad

Nice bending...

Dear Nicky,

This morning, I got you into a kneeling pose while you played with some of your toys. It must've rubbed off, because this afternoon you finally did it really well. I'm a little sick these past couple days, my boy, so I got to wrap it up.

Love,
Dad

The Bug Guy...

Dear Nicky,

So today after our music class, which you seem to be warming up to at last, you went down for a nice long nap. You and your sister woke up close to one, so we quickly fed you both so we could be ready to go when the bug guy came to spray the house for bugs. See, we've got lots of spiders and such, not an insane amount, but plenty, probably due to the fact that the house was empty for a month with workers coming in and out all the time and not shutting doors and windows. Anyway of course we didn't want you kids around while he was spraying so after everybody was fed and ready we took a long drive out to Aunt Erin's, but she wasn't back from her hair appointment. So we hung out with her mother in law and your cousin Lottie who's crazy about you. Then we came home. I fed you and put you to bed and that was our day.

Love,
Dad

Busy even with help...

Dear Nicky,

Even with the nanny around it's still hard to get any rest. I was running around all over the place today. Now I'm even more tired and I've got a cough.

Love,
Dad

We all have colds...

Dear Nicky,

You have a cold, I have a cold, and Junie has a cold. I too some medicine but now it's really knocking me out.

Love,
Dad

New nanny...

Dear Nicky,

My feet hurt. Just thought I'd mention that.

This morning your new nanny came for the first time. She was really nice and helpful and humble. You did okay at Stones, but you have a tendency to freeze up sometimes in OT. Guess you're like me and would rather watch sometimes, which is okay, but you do need to try harder. You got a bunch of shots yesterday that wiped you out and sent you to bed early, so you woke up in the middle of the night hungry and fussy. We took care of you, then Junie woke up and redefined fussy. So we're all tired today. You were very active all day and you did okay with your EI PT. Afterward you crashed again. This time I woke you at 8 and got a little milk into you at least and changed your clothes so maybe you'll sleep through the night tonight. Man, we sure hope so.

Love,
Dad

18 month checkup...

Dear Nicky,

You took a nice long nap this morning and ate a big cereal lunch. I gave you a bath, then Mom and I took you for your checkup. Everything looks great! You only gained about a pound, but you sprouted two inches since your 15 month checkup. You got a bunch of shots, including a flu shot, so you were pretty uncomfortable. I put you to bed when we got home, thinking all you wanted was a brief catnap. That was over seven hours ago. I guess we'll see you bright and extra early in the morning. Hooray.

Love,
Dad

Sunny Sunday...

Dear Nicky,

This was a nice day for me in terms of what I was able to accomplish. I got the car lube oil and filtered. We went to the Great Swamp again and again you kids pass out from all the rich oxygen from the plant life. Then, after we came home I mowed the lawn, cleaned the mower, changed the oil, and reseeded some thin parts in the ground. You ate avocado for lunch, then some meatballs for dinner. Your progress continues apace.

Love,
Dad

More nanny interviews...

Dear Nicky,

Today we met with a couple prospective nannies for you and June. Both were extremely nice and the choice will be a difficult one. It'll be nice to have someone to help out around here. Wonderful as my two kids are their still-unpredictable napping and eating schedules preclude any length of time away, time that could be used to go to the gym or go grocery shopping. But hopefully that will soon change. I'm sure I'll feel pangs of remorse and guilt for leaving you guys, but I feel like I owe it to myself to try and have a semblance of an indiviaul life if only for a little while. Both thought you were so cute be the way.

Love,
Dad

Fussy times are here again...

Dear Nicky,

We think you're cutting more teeth again, because you've been very fussy lately and eating poorly. It's kind of exhausting dealing with you and a colicky baby at the same time. Mom and I are lucky we haven't killed each other.

Love,
Dad

Not so bad...

Dear Nicky,

Today wasn't as hard as yesterday, but I'm still pretty tired.

Love,
Dad

A coupla pills...

Dear Nicky,

You and you're sister were a real handful today, and now I'm so tired.

Love,
Dad

Tiring Tuesday...

Dear Nicky,

So this morning just before we're supposed to leave for Stones, I'm waiting for Junie's sitter to come, I'm hoping the cleaning lady stays out of the way for a few more minutes, and I'm trying to give your sister some more from her bottle, I look over and see that you've regurged some of your milk and breakfast and are eagerly and rapidly smearing the goo back and forth on the floor with your hands and sleeves. Very annoying, even though you don't mean it. What's up with that regurge? Then we went to Stones, where you did brilliantly. We came back, I got some McD's, then came home where you napped till noon. We also found out your sister's sitter is gonna be leaving soon, so back to the drawing board. You ate a big lunch, took another nap, then worked out just okay with your PT. Later Mom gave you your dinner and put you to bed. You and your sister--she especially--were kind of a handful today, just in a myriad little nerve-wracking ways, of course, not anything really significant.

Love,
Dad

Monday the second...

Dear Nicky,

Nothing spectacular today. I mowed the lawn early this morning while you were at daycare. You took a nap when you came home. We went to a park for a while, saw a snake, almost lost your glasses, came back and you got some PT, then a snack, the patch, some fussing, practice eating, then your dinner, then bed.

Love,
Dad

Some catching up...

Dear Nicky,

I haven't really written much in a while, and I'm sorry about that, but Mom and I are so tired lately (which I know I say all the time), that we can barely think straight. Two little babies are tough work, and Junie still is so unpredictable and needs a lot of maintenance.

Anyway, you're doing great. You had a good week at Stones, and you've been great in daycare twice this past week. The reason we take you there is not to be rid of you but so that you can learn from watching typical kids. You're doing great with eating and drinking, and your cognitive abilities continue to astound. Physically, however, you're kind of behind. You simply will not get up on all fours or bend your knees easily. No one knows why, but I wish it were otherwise. When I was younger, not too long ago, I would dream about being able to fly, or having some other fantastic power, or being rich and powerful, or a famous actor. Nowadays I dream about you walking, or running and playing and laughing. My dreams are always about you, triumphing over any and all obstacles. Whether these dreams are any more or less realistic than the previous ones I cannot say. I can only say they are by far the most frequent, the most vivid, the ones I hope most fervently to come true.

Love,
Dad