Papou...

Dear Nicky, I'm worried about my dad, your grandfather. He's really old, and since Yia-yia died, he doesn't have that sort of stress that was almost beneficial to him to keep him strong. Although he sounds pretty good on the phone, he's starting to get forgetful, forgetting the names of things, which was how my mother got about a year or two before her complete decline. His mother lived to be 99, however. So maybe he's got a lot of time left. He wants to live with us, at our house. I just don't want the incredible stress that would put into our lives, my life in particular. I'd like him to move into this assisted living community nearby. It's a ten minute drive from us, in a nice modern facility. It's like a nice hotel. He won't hear of it. I fear he'll die like a dog, alone in his total stubbornness up there in that cave of an apartment he made us all crawl into 37 years ago. Death and dying reveals the truth about people if you're smart and pay attention: the people you think are good are never so good, and those you think bad are likewise never so bad, but at the end of the day for them and for you, the end of your time together, when they come out from under the great shadow that is this life, you can only do one thing: forgive them, and forgive yourself. Love, Dad